Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
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