I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
