could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
