i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
