So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
