i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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