So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
