she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Sorry my hands just texted you
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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