Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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