She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize