What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Randomize
