i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
