I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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