All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize