found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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