some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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