youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
