the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
