Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
