hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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