fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
