problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
