fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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