Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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