how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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