Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
