I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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