So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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