walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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