I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
