He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
