I wish my penis had an off switch
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
These tits shall not be calmed
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
