Don't make out with my wife yet
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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