so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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