i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
