Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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