How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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