Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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