I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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