is your mom at the bar?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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