omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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