two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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