Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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