remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Randomize
