you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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