: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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