I intend to get homeless drunk
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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