i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize
