I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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