UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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