I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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