Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
