My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
