Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
