this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
