Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
