I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize