theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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