So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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