i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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