Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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