my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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