She's JV to your varsity
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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