i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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