Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
