Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
it glows. i had to have it.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
