I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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